Don’t let your mind bully your body into believing it must carry the burden of its worries. -Astrid Alauda

Artwork by Alex Grey @ http://www.alexgrey.com/

I’ve always thought that stress functions in my life for a purpose.  For me, stress translates into motivation to make a necessary change, which then relieves the stress and brings homeostasis.  Sounds like a useful cycle, right?  It can be.  Unless the cycle is perpetual, never-ending, and detrimental to my body.

When we moved to Utah from Texas in the middle of a school year, I had to let go of my school counseling job there.  Upon arriving in Utah, I felt a lot of pressure to find a job (mostly self imposed).  The amount of fear and anxiety I carried was NOT proportional to the effects we would face if I was not working.  Our livelihood was never in danger.  Even though I knew this in my own head, I couldn’t curb that anxiety.  I started to lose weight, as I am one who stops enjoying the taste of food when I’m stressed.  I had a hard time sleeping, as I perseverated on the list of things I could do the next day to find that job.  I was compulsively on the computer looking for jobs, calling school districts, and sending in applications.  I knew that I wouldn’t start working until the new school year, which was still months away, but I couldn’t let go of the stress and knew, in my mind, that it was irrational.  By the end of May, I found a job that started in August and immediately felt relaxed and at peace.  My body began to function normally again, food tasted delicious, but shortly thereafter, I allowed that stress to morph into other areas of worry, like being successful in that new job.

The truth about me is that I am almost always stressed about something.  When I fix one issue, I quickly latch on to another one, turn my attention to new stress, and find my motivation to fix the perceived problem.  That’s the cycle, and as a cycle, it goes round and round.

As I face some big changes and challenges in the year to come, I have vowed to myself that I will not allow my anxiety to affect my body the way that it has in the past.  Of course, our minds and our bodies are too connected to eliminate all affects, but minimizing affects will challenge me to find ways to quiet the bully that my mind can become.

How can we quiet the bully and nurture the body?

1.  How do we treat the children in our lives?  We treat them with respect, we nurture them, and we support their growth and development by loving them unconditionally and selflessly.  What manual did we read along that way that says we should treat ourselves any differently than we would our own children.  Can we be our best selves for the people in our lives if we don’t take the time to nurture our own ‘child within’ and treat our bodies and our minds with the respect that they deserve.  It sounds crazy, but sometimes I have to imagine that, when I am neglecting myself, that I am actually neglecting a child that needs and deserves attention.  I vow to check with that little girl inside and if she doesn’t feel like eating or getting the sleep that she needs, I will make efforts to nurture her and give her what she needs.

2.  Do you ever find yourself with a headache and in the wonderment about where it originated, you find that your jaw is clenched and the muscles in your neck are tight and stiff.  Yep, that’s when you instantly have your answer.  I vow to check in with my muscles and jaw more often to assess anxiety levels before the headache creeps up and to make time for moments of quick relaxation (if even only for 60 seconds).  I could easily say that I don’t have time for 60 seconds of relaxation and conscious awareness of my muscles, but that is kind of BS.  I make time for what is important… and I if I can find time to use the restroom, I can find time for 60 seconds of conscious relaxation and breathing.

Artwork by: Carol Buchman @ www.carolbuchman.net

3.  Meditation is a great way to return to a peaceful place.  My problem is that when I feel stressed, it is next to impossible for me to quiet the annoying chatter in my mind.  This week, my sweet friend Tracy (maybe I should start calling her ‘coach Tracy’ for her insights) suggested that I try saying “in-out” in my head as I breathe, in order to quiet my mind, since the concentration would be on those words and the breathing instead of the drama chatter.  Also useful for me is to progressively concentrate on each body part from my toes all the way up to the top of my head while becoming aware of tense areas.  If you are like me, I can do these things for a bit of time and then I find myself having to tell my mind to ‘shut up’ periodically.

4.  In her book Creative Visualization: Use the Power of Your Imagination to Create What You Want in Your Life (Gawain, Shakti)
she spends time talking about the power of affirmations.  I will use this technique when I am feeling stressed and ‘on the go’.  It takes just a couple of seconds to play and replay a message in your mind, and can be done anywhere, during any kind of activity.  I have a sneaking suspicion that I might be using this one quite a bit, “I have the resources and direction inside myself to realize the right path for me.”  Our intuition is never wrong.  The tricky thing is to figure out which voice it is among the sometimes ‘bullying’ voice of the mind. (Thanks for the book recommendation Mel!)  For more ideas and stress reduction mantras or affirmations, click here.

My mind will surely need taming and training as I learn how to face changes without wreaking havoc on my body.  Stress can be useful in small doses, if handled constructively.  I vow to make these changes in the months to come.  I have no tolerance for bullies, especially one that lives right inside my brain!