A Perspective on Gratitude

December 30, 2012 By 1 Comment

As 2012 comes to an end, I have spent some time reflecting on the themes that emerged in my life throughout the year.  I keep coming back to one word… grateful.  Not too much of a shock, except I’m finding gratitude in some unusual places.  Instead of making a list of resolutions this year, I am resolved to continue to find ‘unexpected’ gratitude in 2013.

I am grateful for…

- the completely irritating experience at City Creek Mall because it reminded me to appreciate online shopping.

- the extra pounds I gained over the holidays because I will feel like a double rock star when I lose them.

- a messy house because it means that, as a family, we’ve been able to relax and enjoy each other.

- not getting an opportunity to move to Colorado because this children’s book may not have ever happened.

- waking up in the night to take our new fuzzy beast outside to pee because he is an amazing gift.  Love. that. little. guy.

- the alarm clock sounding at 5:55 in the morning because it means that we have jobs and are able to support our family.

- the allergies and head colds because it reminds me not to take breathing for granted.

- conflict with the people that I love because it means we care about ourselves and each other enough to stand up for the things we believe, and know that unconditionally, our foundation will always be love.

- people who think I’m a little bit looney because it reminds me to surround myself with people who understand me and make me feel good (REALLY grateful for my intuition for this reason as well).

- the uncomfortably cold weather because it makes my warm home feel that much more cozy.

- mistakes that I make in parenting because it gives me an opportunity to show my kids that I am human and that I can mend mistakes by apologizing just like they can.

- high expectations (of situations and people) that lead to disappointment because it teaches me how to be an advocate for myself.

- the end of a year because an ending is always met with a new beginning.

When I wake up in the morning, I am granted 24 more hours to make this world a better place.  Every single problem, each and every disappointment, can be reframed into something that carries a higher vibration and brings opportunities for increased happiness, kindness, and understanding.

Cheers to making 2013 the most AMAZING year of your life!

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Divine Timing

July 15, 2012 By 2 Comments

“You can’t change the past but you can ruin the present by worrying about the future.” -Roger Porter

Recently, I’ve spent a great deal of time waiting, wondering, anticipating, thinking, waiting some more, and wondering again.  A couple of times in recent posts, I’ve mentioned big changes that may be coming down the pike for us in 2012.  One of the big changes I was referring to entails a possible transfer to Denver for my husband’s job.  From all practical points of view, the timing of this move sucks for the school calendar, because we won’t find out until August, which also happens to be the month that school starts.

In addition to this potential move, I’ve also pondered how I might be able to make some shifts in my life so that I have more time to write and explore my path without the distractions of a demanding full time job.  As I brainstorm possibilities, anxiety creeps in from every direction possible.  How could I quit my job and continue to provide the kind of life that my family deserves?  Is it better to defer to my family’s needs or to my own soul’s needs?  Does it make sense to ignore my ego and follow my intuition even if I don’t have a ‘plan’ for survival?

In my gut, I knew the answers to all of those questions, but my courage was lacking and there was a string keeping me attached somehow.  I threw around the idea of quitting my job entirely.  I didn’t do it.  I have small children and it sure felt irresponsible.  Aside from that, there was just something unsettling about leaving teaching altogether.  Although the idea brought exhilaration, it also left me feeling sad and incomplete.

We don’t know about this move yet but the ‘waiting game’ allowed me to take an amazing step towards my desire to follow my own path.  The thought of setting up a classroom for a new school year only to be told that we are moving 2 weeks after school starts, sounded painful in so many ways (not to mention the upheaval for all the students).  I went to the school a couple of weeks ago and talked with the boss and came up with a plan that we can both live with.  I will work part time.  As it turns out, I feel more and more stoked about this plan as each day passes!

How is this timing so divine, then?

As I roused this morning, I took in deep breaths of gratitude, and I let go of the worry, anticipation, and waiting.  The seemingly screwed up timing of this potential move actually turns out to be perfect.  It’s perfect if we move AND it’s perfect if we don’t move.  In either case, I get to take a step back and follow my heart.  You see, I won’t really be working part-time, I will be enjoying myself FULL TIME!  I get the best of both worlds… time with kids at school (which I love, if it doesn’t overwhelm my entire life), writing time each day, more patience for my own children, flexibility to continue learning and growing, and the gift of slowing down so that I can be more present and aware all the time.  Perfection.

The past and the future exist only in imagination. Everything you did before has no reality. Everything you will do afterward has no reality. Only the thing you are doing right now is real. -Deepak Chopra

It’s funny what happens when we take a moment to breathe in complete gratitude.  As I pondered writing this post and felt complete love in my energy, I got a message on Facebook from an old teacher friend in Houston.  She wanted me to know that she is taking a writing course to help her students but that it has renewed her own energy as a writer and that my blog has inspired her to want to be better and do better.  I was slapped, yet again, with the incredible notion of perfect timing.  She didn’t know it then, but that bit of encouragement got me on the computer, Godspeed, to write this post… something I had only ‘thought’ of doing up until that moment.

I learn new things about my path each day, but the message I got here came through loud and clear.  Even when timing feels like it couldn’t be any worse, there is divinity hiding in the shadows… have faith, light will shine where there was once only darkness, and you will see its intricate perfection.

 

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Gratitude in Crap

March 26, 2012 By 14 Comments

Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it. -William Arthur Ward

As I pulled out of the driveway on Friday morning, I noticed a speck of gorgeous flower among the dead, dried out plants and grass in the front of our yard.  A flitter of excitement and then a rush of gratitude washed over my body when I came to realize that it is truly spring.  I felt grateful for the memory in that flower to bloom again this year and for the earth that sustains its life, like clockwork, each year.  The astounding number of things that have to come together to arrive at the moment of bloom is mind boggling.  A simple flower becomes miraculous when we reflect on all of the conditions necessary to sustain its survival.

Perfection in my front yard

It’s easy and it’s quite obvious to feel grateful for wonderful things in our lives like our health, family, friends, jobs, and even flowers.  It is quite another thing to reflect on the challenges and difficulties in life and feel appreciation for them.  Given time and distance, we can find gratitude in every situation, for it is a part of our growth in this life which propels us to a more intricate and complex existence.

Here are a few challenging life experiences, for which I have been able to locate the ‘flowers’:

I am grateful for the divorce of my parents because it taught me about courage, seeking out the best for my life, and independence.

I am grateful for the 13 moves we made by age 16 because it taught me about flexibility and gave me a special kind of empathy for my own students who experience frequent upheaval.

I am grateful for every failed friendship and relationship (for they were not failures at all), despite the pain of these losses, they taught me how to advocate and stand up for myself.

I am grateful for the trip to Paris which had trauma painted all over it from the moment we stepped off the plane, for even though we had to discover his passing, I now feel intense gratitude that I was able to see where my dad lived and experience being in his space there.

I am grateful for my fears, anxieties, struggles, and challenges.

The crap in life, the stuff that feels hard, painful, or traumatic, is the stuff that gives us dimension and creates room for empathy and understanding.  Dealing with it, feeling it, as well as time, distance, and perspective must be part of the equation to transform our crap into flowers.

My life begins again when the sun comes up each morning.  I can choose to find the flowers in the really hard stuff or I can choose to let my challenges bring me down and define me.  I choose the former, and the flowers are beautiful!

 

 

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