The message is as follows:

There will come a time when all the love on the planet hits a crescendo, a sort of musical orgasm.  It will uplift even the lowest vibration.  

Aren’t you glad that you are an instrument in the journey towards the concert of a lifetime?  It is awesome.  

Let us not focus on the grinds in your life and begin, instead, to focus on the love that is in everything…. the trees, the roots, the grass, the people, the places you stride/walk, the placement of your own feet on your path.  These things, not the things of your daily routine nor your worries…. it is these things, born out of love, these are the things that will create the symphony which cannot be penetrated by hate, anger, jealousy, resentment, or fear.  

The crescendo is building.  

Each time you give someone a smile, you add a note to the orchestra, to the compilation of other such notes.  

Let it be the smiles, the kindness, and that love which projects you into the future, for your destiny depends on it.  

Be of love.  

For all.

The older and older I get,

the more and more I know this is to be true.  

Experiencing Zion reminded me that

the“something inside me” is born of the same

breath as the beauty all around me.

After I posted a new picture about teaching children how to meditate, I thought it would be fun to attach this video to the blog.

Enjoy!

Ella’s Meditation Video

I stayed home from work yesterday with my sick bumpkins.  Kai had a fever and although Ella probably could have made it through the day, I kept her home for her minor sore throat.

After lunch, the three of us lounged in the living room, watching television (the best part of sick days), while I waited for a potential buyer to come look at my car.  Out of nowhere… and when I say out of nowhere, I truly mean FROM FAR LEFT FIELD, Ella says, “Mommy, will you please talk to me about Santa?”

Odd that it should surface in February, I assumed I misunderstood the question and asked for clarification.

“What honey?” I asked.

“Santa, you know, Santa Claus… I want you to tell me about him,” she said.

Hmmmmm… okay.  ”What do you want to know about him?” I asked.

“Well, I want to know if he is real.  I mean, are you and daddy Santa?” she inquired.

As I sat thinking for a couple of moments, I remembered the response I gave her around the holidays when she asked.  ”You can believe whatever you want to believe,” I would always say.  My heart would sink a little each time she looked at Kai and said, “See!  Mommy would never lie to me!”

Ugh.  Sigh.  The seconds seemed like minutes as my mind integrated this inquisition, our prior conversations, and her maturity/age.  I kept coming back to her sensitivity, her trust in the world, and the faith she placed in me to guide her, in an honest way, through this life.

Before I could open my mouth to speak, she said, “Mom, you know what?  I really want you to be honest with me.  You need to tell me the truth.”   Her eyes told the story of a child who desperately needed me be forthright.

Kai then interjected, “Would you be sad if mom told you that Santa is not real?”

“No, I would feel good that mommy chose to be honest with me,” she replied, big brown eyes staring longingly at me.

That did it.  There was no more thinking, no more contemplating the fact that she is only 5 years old, no more skirting around the truth.

In that moment, part of me felt proud that her curiosity about how the world works led her to be so direct and upfront with me… that skill will serve her well in life.  The other part of me felt sad that this was the moment where she would realize that the world isn’t all that it appears to be.  It’s the first ‘bluff’ we are told in a series of SO many.  These bluffs are uncovered as we mature but the ‘bluffs’ never end, despite our desire to extinguish them.  Beginning with Santa, the Easter bunny, the tooth fairy, and leading to bluffs that we are told in the name of politics, religion, money… cover-ups, fear inducing lies to maintain control.  Here it goes.

The difference about this bluff, the first of many that she will face in her life, is that this bluff was created out of love.

So that’s exactly what I told her.  Santa represents love, generosity, and kindness.  He is the guy who helps families show little children about love.  The moms and dads are there to help spread the message of love and so it is us, the people who love you the most, that deliver the message and the gifts, disguised as Santa.

The tears began to well up in her eyes as I explained that Santa is everywhere, all of the time.  He is love, he is light, he is kindness, he is beauty, he is generosity, he is understanding, he is selflessness.

Her sweet, sensitive, little soul heard my words as she crawled onto my lap.  The whimpers began and then the sobbing.

She was so sad.

Then the doorbell rang.  The man was here to see the car.  Ella was wailing.

Having known that I was home from school with them, he said. “Wow, she must be REALLY sick!  Is she okay?”

“They’re okay… she just found out about Santa,” I mumbled.  His look of bewilderment screamed ‘okay, crazy lady’ and he took the key.

An hour later, the tears continued, but thankfully, so did the questions.

“Does this mean that you and daddy bought Bonzai for me?” she asked.

Bonzai

“Yes, we picked him out special just for you,” I replied.

Met with a big smile, she finally started to reframe her idea of Santa.  ”You did that just for me?”

“Of course we did!  He needed you to love him and take care of him,” I replied.

“Oh, so I kind of get to be like Santa with Bonzai and show him love?” she asked.

“Yes, that’s it!” I breathed a sigh of relief.

When Vinay got home later in the evening, she gave him an ear full!

“Mommy told me all about Santa and love.  She said that Christmas is about love and people use Santa to show about love.  But do you know what daddy?  Bonzai has BROTHERS AND SISTERS!  Did you know that we might get to meet his brothers and sisters when he has a playdate with them?  I’m SO happy for Bonzai about his brothers and sisters.  And guess what?  Bonzai also has a MOM!  This mom is a dog mom, not like a person mom like me.  Her name is Dharma.  I’m happy about that because everyone should have a mom!” she exclaimed.

This excited ranting, which followed her really sad afternoon, was full of a newfound happy energy and a sense of responsibility, a new maturity that she knew something other kids may not.

The day that most parents dread… a mixed bag… sad that she is growing up so quickly right before my eyes but so incredibly proud of her careful and thoughtful inquiry.

After they discussed it at bedtime, both of the kids decided that they DO believe in Santa because they believe in love.

The redefinition of Santa.

lethiel.deviantart.com

If you have the privilege of raising a sensitive child, you might also understand how exhilarating it is to share their space and experience their intensified emotional reactions and responses to the world around them.

“Look at that beautiful sunset mom… what do you think it’s like to be the sun?”

“That rock has all the memories of all the kids from forever ago.”

“What can we do to clean up all the garbage in this pond?  These ducks are going to be sick!  We need to clean it up!”

This little one would lovingly give up her favorite toy if you asked for it.  She regularly shares her most beloved stuffed animals if it means that one of her friends will feel better as a result.  She is here to give, give, give… to the point that I’ve felt the need to teach her about people who might ‘take advantage’ of her incredible generosity and kindhearted nature.

The sensitive and loving side of Ella is not lost on anyone who meets her.

The other side of this beautiful coin is her sensitivity to difficult emotions.  Recently, is seems that she has been carrying the weight of the world on her petite shoulders.

On a regular and almost predictable basis, I hear these words, “Mom, I feel bad about…”.

The origin of her guilt comes from seemingly insignificant events.  When I tell her ‘no’ in response to requests for candy, ask her more than one time to brush her teeth, or when she makes a mistake on her homework… a common response is, “I feel bad” and is sometimes followed by tears and something moms commonly call a meltdown.  On some occasions, I can point to exhaustion or hunger as a culprit but the reality is that in addition to any other factors contributing to her reaction, she is truly a sensitive little soul.

It makes my heart ache.  Guilt sucks and I hate that her little mind even goes down that road.

In an effort to help her let go of the guilt, initially I tried rationalizing with her and telling her that she doesn’t need to feel bad… which was sometimes followed by a long explanation about how mistakes are great opportunities to learn… blah, blah, blah.  She’s five.  That didn’t work.  Sigh.

Recently, a new approach has shown a lot more promise.

This approach, which includes a visualization and release, gives her a concrete way to let go of these unwelcome emotions.

Put it in a Bubble

1.  Hold your hand out in front of your mouth and blow the bad feelings into your hand.  

2.  Catch the bad feelings in your hands by cupping them together in the shape of a bubble.  

3.  Slowly open your hands up and after you see those bad feelings trapped inside a bubble, blow on the bubble and watch it begin to float away, up high, high, high into the sky until you can’t see it anymore.

She is so well versed in the visualization now that whenever she says she feels bad, we both recite, “put it in a bubble and blow it away,” which is then followed up with giggles and smiles.

It won’t work every time but if it gives her one more tool to manage her emotions and avoid carrying unnecessary emotional baggage, I call it a success.

What are some things you do to help your child manage difficult emotions?

The glow and gentility of a child

Think back to your elementary years, your middle school years, and then your high school years.  What was the little voice in your head saying to you about your abilities, your strengths, and your value as a human being?  What were other kids saying about you and how much of it resonated and stuck like glue?  Growing up is really hard work.  Kids can be incredibly compassionate, kind, and generous but they can also be devastatingly cruel.  The impact of a child’s interaction with family and peers can have an immeasurable influence on their own inner voice.

One night as I was tucking my kids into bed, I wondered about the types of thoughts that run through their minds right before they fall asleep. What messages are their egos sending? Is that voice constructive or debilitating in their growth? In as much as I have  control over what those messages are, an idea popped in my head. I wondered how I could influence those thoughts with the truth about who and what they are.  Affirmations are popular in the adult world and have shown to influence perceived self worth.  Why not use the power of positive messages to assist kids in understanding their own magnificence?  That is when the ‘popsicle stick’ Affirmation Stations were born! Instead of just writing affirmations on sticks, which would be a very easy, at home project, I decided to take it a step further. I ordered custom stamps with the messages on them and made enough sets to send out to our family and friends for our annual “Happy End of Year Gift.” We usually send a children’s book but I really liked the idea of mixing it up a bit for the end of 2012.

Call them Affirmations or call them Super Powers, if they result in my children being closer to understanding the awesomeness and magnificence that they are, it is a huge win.  When used repeatedly, positive affirmations have the ‘super power’ to manifest themselves in thoughts and actions.  With stamps in hand, infused with love, light, and lots of sparkles, the Affirmation Station kit was created. They are easy to make, even easier to use, and they have the power to make your child’s light shine even brighter!  

Before bed on Sunday night, I sat with both of my kids and asked them what they know about Martin Luther King Jr.  Not surprising, Kai knew a lot of the details in his life (although I was a bit shocked that he knew Dr. King’s exact birthday) and Ella had a really general understanding of his reputation as a helper.

After the conversation got going and we began discussing the remarkably peaceful and loving approach Dr. King used to spread light around the world, both of the kids began reflecting more deeply and sharing their own thoughts about him.

(Sidenote: At this precise moment, motherhood is unmistakably priceless.  My heart skipped beats, and I felt proud to be in the presence of such honest reflection.)

“I can talk with Martin Luther King and he can talk with me and stuff and then I can dream about him.  I know I can talk with him when I want because we are a little bit the same as him.  You know?  My skin is a little bit dark like Martin Luther King’s skin,” Ella says.

“Tell me about the color of your skin,” I inquire.

“It’s not super white like yours (ha!)… it’s kinda dark, but not really dark like daddy’s and it’s lucky for me that I have this skin.  It’s really nice skin,” she says, “and that is like how I am kind of the same like Martin Luther King.”

Kai pipes in and says, “I remember something else about Martin Luther King.  I know that Gandhi inspired him.  You know what else?  Gandhi liked to meditate, I think kind of like the same way that you like to meditate.  Who inspired you to start meditating mom?  Like, how and why did you start meditating?  Was it because of Gandhi?”

At this point, the discussion took on a mind of its own as we covered a wide array of topics that came spontaneously from their hearts.  I talked to them about their Papa Kent and how I know he is around us and how meditating can help us to clean up all of the floating thoughts and listen and talk to our guidance that comes from inside us.  I was able to debunk Ella’s misconceptions about ghosts and talk to them about their own strength and ability to protect their space and feel safe.

Near the end of the conversation, as we were exchanging hugs and kisses, Ella had a genius idea.

“I know!  We should sit and send sparkles of love to Martin Luther King Junior and then meditate for one minute just for him,” she said excitedly.

So we did.  We sent sparkles of love and light to Dr. King and meditated for him.  It was serious business.  Kai chose not to meditate with us but I did see him flick his fingers with us as we sent sparkles.

Meditation turned inspiration and Ella’s ideas were flowing.

“Can I write a book about Martin Luther King Junior tomorrow?  I KNOW!  We can have stations tomorrow!  One station will be for Reiki, one for meditating for Martin Luther King and one for  writing a book about him!” she exclaimed.

Although it was followed up by Kai’s ramblings about what a stupid idea that was, I call it an uber, sparkly success.

Thank you, Dr. King, for gifting me with this sweet conversation last night.  Your beam of light continues to shine!

A collage of Ella’s best moments in November including the artifacts she collected through the month (movie stubs, awards, birthday invitations, and other school articles).

As adults are discussing resolutions and reflections for the New Year, we would be remiss to ignore this opportunity to guide our children in their own efforts to raise the vibration in the world.  One of the ways that I keep my own cherubs focused on the amazing things in their lives involves the simple task of asking them about the best part of their day.  Many times, I’m surprised by the simplicity of the response, either because I never would have guessed that seemingly insignificant events to me were a big deal to them and sometimes because the things that I wouldn’t have enjoyed as a child are the exact things that they find the most pleasure.

Ella’s calendar for November… the best part of her day.

In an effort to provide the kids with a concrete way to look at all the awesomeness going on in their lives, the teacher in me bought a ‘teacher calendar’ and some blank cards that can be used to document the best part of their day.  Aside from the positive benefits of focusing on the ‘full glass,’ this calendar has the added benefit of creating lasting memories.  At the end of the month, each card is removed, placed in a baggie, labeled with the month and year, and added to their ‘keep’ boxes to be saved forever.  If you are a teacher, you can also appreciate the added benefit of the writing practice.  For the month of November, we would help Ella write the words and she would draw a little picture.  Kai, instead, preferred to just write the words on his cards.  Either way works and different things will work for different kids.

For Kai, it’s about the ‘awesome part’ in Ute’s color scheme.

November 2012 all bagged up and ready for the ‘keep’ box.

For the month that starts this New Year, Ella has decided that she wants to record what she is grateful for each day.  Kai, on the other hand, wants to document something nice or helpful that he does for someone else (he did make it clear that doing something nice for the puppy could surely be recorded) each day in January.  The beauty of the calendar is that individual children can decide how to use the calendar each month and the variety in choices will prevent boredom.  The key is to focus on the beauty, magic, abundant, kind, and loving parts of their lives.

Ready for January 2013, on New Year’s Eve, she already knows that she will be thankful for staying up late to bang pots and pans.

So, who’s with us?  Let’s raise the vibration for our children in 2013!  How will we help our kids see the magic and beauty in their lives?  Realize their own magnificence and empathic, caring nature?  LET’S DO THIS!!

CLAIRBOOK is running another post from me today about raising the vibration for kids using Affirmation Sticks.  Check it out here.

As 2012 comes to an end, I have spent some time reflecting on the themes that emerged in my life throughout the year.  I keep coming back to one word… grateful.  Not too much of a shock, except I’m finding gratitude in some unusual places.  Instead of making a list of resolutions this year, I am resolved to continue to find ‘unexpected’ gratitude in 2013.

I am grateful for…

- the completely irritating experience at City Creek Mall because it reminded me to appreciate online shopping.

- the extra pounds I gained over the holidays because I will feel like a double rock star when I lose them.

- a messy house because it means that, as a family, we’ve been able to relax and enjoy each other.

- not getting an opportunity to move to Colorado because this children’s book may not have ever happened.

- waking up in the night to take our new fuzzy beast outside to pee because he is an amazing gift.  Love. that. little. guy.

- the alarm clock sounding at 5:55 in the morning because it means that we have jobs and are able to support our family.

- the allergies and head colds because it reminds me not to take breathing for granted.

- conflict with the people that I love because it means we care about ourselves and each other enough to stand up for the things we believe, and know that unconditionally, our foundation will always be love.

- people who think I’m a little bit looney because it reminds me to surround myself with people who understand me and make me feel good (REALLY grateful for my intuition for this reason as well).

- the uncomfortably cold weather because it makes my warm home feel that much more cozy.

- mistakes that I make in parenting because it gives me an opportunity to show my kids that I am human and that I can mend mistakes by apologizing just like they can.

- high expectations (of situations and people) that lead to disappointment because it teaches me how to be an advocate for myself.

- the end of a year because an ending is always met with a new beginning.

When I wake up in the morning, I am granted 24 more hours to make this world a better place.  Every single problem, each and every disappointment, can be reframed into something that carries a higher vibration and brings opportunities for increased happiness, kindness, and understanding.

Cheers to making 2013 the most AMAZING year of your life!

I have not come across any single person promoting more school violence but the path to arrive at safer environments for students is massively heated.  The path that leads to safe schools is complicated and multifaceted.  If there were any easy answers that guaranteed our children’s safe return from school each day, we’d surely have done it a long time ago.

My first argument is that we will not get anywhere on this issue without facing the serious mental health care crisis in this nation.  You can regulate guns, lock doors, install cameras, and arm more people with guns but that will never change the fact that massive numbers of mentally ill children, teens, and young adults are faced with a health care system whose primary focus is on prescribing medication and getting them out the door as quickly as possible, sometimes in worse shape than they were when they arrived on the steps for help.  Addressing gun control without facing this health care crisis leaves us with mentally ill individuals who are resourceful enough to create this kind of destruction despite our efforts to limit gun access and secure schools.  It would be a band-aid on a wound that will continue to bleed and bleed and bleed.

Let’s back up a bit.  If we are going to look at the root causes of this crisis, we must pay attention to the causes of mental illness in these young adults.  The profiles of many mass shooters include childhoods filled with bullying, isolation, and rejection.  Rarely do we find mass murderers with backgrounds filled with loving and supportive friendships.  In some cases, nature has much to do with the mental health of the children born into this world.  Parents, despite their loving efforts to support their struggling children, still find themselves in situations with their own children that are dangerous and potentially lethal.  What is their recourse?  Who and what is available to help them?  Not much…. unless the interest is purely in administering medication that may or may not have an impact.  Access to cognitive and/or behavioral therapy is expensive and often times only accessible to upper middle class families.

I don’t have all the answers and I don’t pretend to, but I do know that if we want to focus on our children and the educational environment, we need to address the root issues and should really consider placing more counselors and psychologists in these environments to help teachers and other school personnel identify children who are risk for violent behaviors.  Of course, the cut in funding for education in recent years has forced cuts of counselors and psychologists in most school buildings across the nation (aside from the counselors in junior highs and high schools whose primary job description is scheduling courses for students, a FAR cry from utilizing them in areas for which they were trained and could potentially have a positive impact on the perceived self worth of children).  Let’s allocate some much needed funding investing in children whose circumstances increase their risk for mental issues.

In conjunction with an overhaul of mental health care, gun laws absolutely need to be changed.  Many people arguing against changes in the law, sadly seem to care more about how the law would impact their own personal life (be it financial or recreational) instead of the potential for a decrease in unnecessary violence and deaths.  The suggestions to put more guns in schools to avoid violence is nothing shy of ludicrous.  I understand that there are armed officers roaming junior high and high school hallways in many parts of the nation BUT the image of guards standing at the doors of every public school in the nation is absolutely NOT the same thing as having district police officers available to schools in times of need.  In my mind, the warmth and care of a school environment immediately becomes cold and scary at the sight of an armed guard standing at the front door.

In violence we forget who we are.  ~Mary McCarthy

My second thought here is that the “Adams” of the world are resourceful enough to find ways around the guard.  We can’t ignore the intelligence of these individuals… just because they are deemed ‘mentally ill’ does not mean that they are stupid in any sense of the word.  One or two armed guard in a building will do absolutely nothing if the shooter doesn’t happen to come across the guard in the process of shooting people and/or the shooter researches and/or observes the behaviors and schedules of the armed guards.  He can kill massive numbers of people by the time a guard gets to him and he doesn’t care if the guard kills him because he planned on killing himself anyway, right?  So, this brings me BACK to the original argument…. identification, support, and respect for individuals who exhibit symptoms of mental illness (in conjunction with a change in gun laws, of course).

More guns in schools means just that… MORE guns in schools.  Great idea proposed by the NRA and surely a huge money maker for them too ((rolling eyes)).  Making efforts to decrease violence by increasing the number of weapons is, well, counter-intuitive.   Quite frankly, I actually think it would create a sort of appeal that might entice shooters due to the extra challenge involved… surely gives the media something else to talk about.  I can hear it now, “despite extra armed guards in every school in the nation, Mr. Disturbed managed to kill a large number of people in School X.”  Let’s face it, we’re talking about people who already know they will get caught and don’t care about dying themselves.

Aside from the need to overhaul mental health care access and revisit gun laws, there are a myriad of other issues that need to be considered including but not limited to human’s exposure to violence in the media, movies, television, and games.   Our society drools over movies that glamorize violence and chomps at the bit to get their hands on the newest violent video games.  There are a number of research studies which show a strong correlation between engaging in violent behaviors and spending hours sitting in front of violent media.  Could part of the puzzle also be about educating parents and other caretakers in the effects of exposure to violent media?  There is a recommendation to put a higher tax on violent video games and movies.  The effectiveness of this approach may come more from the principle and message that this sends to adults who purchase them as opposed to the increase in cost.  We might as well throw in a pamphlet with their sales receipt that summarizes the research on the effects of this type of exposure to violence.  If it gives pause to the purchaser of the media and encourages them to think about the ‘why’ behind the hike in taxes or the research on violence, even for a second, that alone makes it an effective intervention.

The bottom line is that our nation is in trouble.  People with mental health issues should be entitled to care that addresses their needs. Instead of armed guards, schools should be filled with trained mental health care professionals, and teachers who know how to identify and refer students who display warning signs BEFORE they ever even entertain the idea of killing people.  Respect and kindness towards EVERYONE must be a first priority, for adults and children alike.  Sadly, adults are not the best models for respectful behavior in many instances, our last presidential election being a perfect example.

We need to take a long, hard look at ourselves as adults and ask if, in our daily interactions with others, we are contributing to spreading love and light.  I do think that adults engage in an exorbitant amount of low vibration, petty behaviors, which also desensitize children and promote negativity.

What are you doing to promote resolution and healing?

“What Would Love Do?” – A favorite quote among some of my favorite people